higher self
The Higher Self is the inner VIP who mistakes itself for the center of the cosmos, ignoring mundane tasks through meditation and affirmations. It’s secretly summoned during meetings to tune into the ‘voice of the soul’ rather than check real emails. Though it claims to hold the key to transcendence, it ultimately postpones duties and peddles a sense of fulfillment. It appears only when a meditation app notification rings, then hides deep in the sofa. In the end, it’s nothing more than a shadowy ad agent distributing free self-esteem with no real deliverables.