psychoanalysis
Psychoanalysis is the ritual of collecting a patient's excuses into a black box called the 'unconscious.' It parades as an autopsy of secrets while inflating the therapist's own narcissism. Though it claims to dive into the depths, it ends up only probing the depths of the analyst's tape measure. Armed with 'past traumas,' it masterfully justifies every present excuse. At the end of endless analysis, all that's left are fresh questions and a bill.