#Diagram

A fishbone diagram is the corporate art of projecting the innocent desire to solve problems onto a mere skeleton of a fish. Its central spine is not truth but a tunnel for dragging someone’s responsibility all the way to the tail. Experts sprout branches from the fish bones and pretend to seek causes, thus extending meetings indefinitely. Any real solution is as fragile as the skeleton itself, and by the time the diagram is complete, the true cause has vanished from everyone’s memory. All that remains are the papers, the slides, and yet another meeting.

UML is the magical tongue of software architects who wield countless boxes and arrows to proclaim a system’s grand design. In practice, those diagrams gather dust like post-meeting whiteboard doodles, never reaching the minds of actual coders. The utopia of models often clashes with the harsh reality of code, acting as an impenetrable barrier between two worlds. Students of UML hone their diagramming prowess while forgetting that communication was the original intent. Ultimately, everyone learns that the time spent gazing at charts is inversely proportional to the project’s progress.