#New Parent

A new parent is a self-proclaimed superhero who has purchased a lifelong subscription to discounted sleep deprivation while cradling a ticking time bomb named newborn. They engage in the ritual of feeding as if in a martial performance against inconsolable wails, turning the promise to protect new life into a theater of mutual sanity questioning. Armed with a bottle, they pursue fleeting triumphs and gauge their self-worth by the aroma of excrement, pioneering the uncharted frontiers of diaper geology. Their domestic battleground pits them against unpredictably timed biological phenomena. This role, where joy and chaos cohabitate, ironically becomes a rite of self-sacrifice disguised as parental dedication.