Retirement Planning
Retirement planning is the ritual of clinging to spreadsheets and numbers in the vain hope that the magic of social security never runs out. It is a sequence of austerities imagined for the day of retirement, complete with prayerful investments and emotional rollercoasters on pension disbursement days. Yet to truly feel secure, one must be ready to laugh off the absurdity of entrusting one’s life guarantee to mere figures. In essence, retirement planning is the most socially sanctioned apparatus for converting future anxieties into present self-inflicted penance.