#Philosophy

Absurdism is the doctrine that scoffs at humanity's desperate search for meaning as a cosmic comedy. Its adherents ask earnest questions while celebrating the sheer farce of finding no answers. The more one champions purpose, the deeper one tumbles into the abyss of meaninglessness, observed like a spectator enjoying dark humor. No salvation is promised, and despair becomes the true object of worship—its greatest allure. Ultimately, as long as one pursues meaning, humanity is doomed to play the buffoon on its own stage.

Aesthetics is the eternal wordplay about what is beautiful, functioning as decorative jargon that flatters the viewer’s pride while requiring no real practice. To art dealers and critics it is a tool of commerce, to students merely homework fodder. At times it works like a magic trick, making us feel we glimpsed life’s meaning in a mere five millimeters of paint. Ultimately, it is a high-end gimmick that sells illusions under the guise of scholarship.

Afterlife is the ultimate marketing campaign invented to justify one's incompetence and irresponsibility in the here and now. It shelves every bad deed with the promise of a posthumous reward, achieving self-satisfaction and escapism simultaneously. This con artist's invention dangles an invisible future, postponing any real-world improvement indefinitely. It offers infinite hope to believers and perfect irony to skeptics, serving as the universal padlock for every debate. A masterpiece of wishful thinking disguised as cosmic justice.

Agnosticism is the high art of deferring every answer before even asking the divine question, expertly evading the irritating burden of conviction. It prides itself on neither believing nor denying, elegantly wearing ignorance as a badge of honor. A trove of excuses spun from logic to cleverly conceal the fact that you know nothing. By proclaiming a lack of stance, it eternally bars the exit from any debate. Yes, the agnostic is a frozener of truth’s inquiry, declaring “I don’t know” and counting it a victory.

Alchemy is the art of speaking dreams of turning lead into gold while simultaneously emptying your purse. Born in the gloomy medieval laboratories, this mystic science today enjoys credibility on par with shady investment schemes. Alchemists in search of the Philosopher’s Stone have ventured into furnaces, only to unearth the void. Cloaked in promises of self-transcendence, alchemy is in fact a psychological sauna of alternating bankruptcy and fleeting superiority.

Animism is humanity’s ghost of comfort, pressing souls onto stones and trees to feel in control. By attributing spirits to every entity—from forests to machines—people fool themselves into mastering an uncontrollable nature. Speaking to trees, praying to mountains, even personifying computers is the mechanism that gently wraps human impotence. Ironically, the mirror truth is that it’s merely a variant of idol worship. Yet, even if one prays to a noodle strainer, tranquility can be found.

Atheism is the philosophy of holding every ultimate answer in abeyance, staring at a throne of gods that never occupied. Knowing there is no afterlife guarantee, it burdens you with the resolve to grin nervously between life and death. It means choosing a narrative that goes on even when the main character never arrives. A simple yet endless DIY project in which you furnish your own ethics and anxieties. For example, someone may skip saving for heaven but diligently budget tomorrow's coffee.

Atonement is the act of adding one’s misdeeds to the annals of guilt while securing a divine or social “paid in full” stamp. It serves as a token of contrition and a self-satisfied proof that you can trade remorse for external forgiveness. From religious ceremonies to corporate apology letters, it functions as a universal tool. Its greatest appeal lies in the convenience of completing the inventory of one’s conscience through words and ritual alone. Without genuine remorse or change, however, it’s nothing more than an empty shelf for show.

Axiology is the parlor game of endlessly debating what is noble and what is trivial. Ethics and aesthetics are dragged along by one’s ego in an infinite philosophy café that dissolves any sense of time. Everyone boasts that their own values are unique, yet mercilessly critiques everyone else’s. In the marketplace, price tags are worshiped as proof of omnipotence, while in daily life our mental yardsticks swing wildly. Even knowing no conclusion will ever come, we can’t stop the unstoppable juggling of values.

Zen is a serious yet leisurely pursuit of discovering everything in silence. During zazen, distractions become stars, demanding all your attention. A paradox where words dwindle but thoughts proliferate. And yet a single deep breath teases you with the illusion of enlightenment.