#Swimming

Swimming is the socially sanctioned ritual of exhausting every muscle under the pretense of graceful aquatic motion. It transforms a pool into a public gladiatorial arena where one competes in vanity and slathers outrageous amounts of sun protection with absurd pride. Presenting itself as a health festival, it secretly douses participants in bourgeois chlorine and saline. The true reward lies not in fitness but in the exquisite ache of self-satisfaction post swim.