liability

Description

Liability is an elegant contract granting the right to shift the consequences you caused onto someone else’s shoulders. Society reveres this contract as sacred, while those bound by it tremble at its weight. Few things are as lightweight as the sense of responsibility proclaimed in words; in reality it is a passable scapegoat transferrable at will. Organizations maintain balance by dispersing liabilities, constructing a utopia where no one carries the burden alone. Yet inevitably, when the smoke clears, someone’s name is always the first to be blamed.

Definitions

• A privilege to sacrifice others in exchange for admitting one’s own mistakes.
• A convenient piece of jargon organizations use to conceal their own poor judgments.
• A spell that creates legends of guilt the moment you sign on the dotted line.
• An intangible burden that gains value the longer it remains shelved.
• A ghost of a concept that appears only in failure and hides in success.
• A motto prized as a cloak to fill the gaps in excuses.
• The social lubricant that manufactures profit for the accuser.
• A gift whose value increases the more you shift it onto others.
• A gift certificate of obligation distributed top-down, leaving recipients bewildered.
• A lock with an escape route that guarantees peace of mind gained through abdication.

Examples

• “I’ll take responsibility,” he said—and then took a vacation until further notice.
• “Do you really feel responsible?” she asked. He handed over his business card.
• “I’ll own up to the mistake,” promised the CEO, who was rumored to resign by morning.
• “I’m an expert at shifting blame,” declared the manager, shining in meetings every time.
• “I’ll manage this responsibly,” she said, as the files vanished into thin air.
• “You’re in charge of responsibility for this project,” they told him—then summoned him to another meeting.
• “I have a strong sense of responsibility,” bragged the one who always disappears during crises.
• “Responsibility should be shared,” proposed the team—yet no one ever acted, and it went up in flames.
• “Show me proof of fulfilled responsibility,” said the boss—and shredded the employee’s reports.
• “I’ll settle this responsibly,” he claimed—at which point his bank account was frozen.

Narratives

• When a customer complaint surfaced, I witnessed a revolving door of ‘persons-in-charge’ swapping seats in panic.
• After the project’s collapse, no one admitted fault—yet paperwork multiplied like rabbits.
• The burden called responsibility is so easily allocated that, in the end, it remains with no one.
• The execs claimed to ‘investigate responsibility,’ but only rotated through meeting rooms endlessly.
• Legend has it that one department awarded free cafeteria vouchers to anyone questioned about responsibility.
• Once an error was reported, a special blame team sprang up, preparing for their hunt.
• Those who bear responsibility seem to have gravity doubled under their feet.
• That title was synonymous with responsibility; rumor said appointees lost their personalities within minutes.
• Those avoiding responsibility chanted, ‘That’s just how it’s specified,’ as their magic spell.
• A clump of responsibility drifting through an organization sometimes sparks internal collapse.

Related Terms

Aliases

• Blame Bomb
• Shift Ticket
• Guilt Package
• Excuse Insurance
• Negative Gift Wrap
• Scapegoat Edition
• Liability Parcel
• Condolence Envelope
• Get-Out-of-Jail Bolt
• Forethought Token

Synonyms

• Fault MVP
• Blame Knight
• Accusation Generator
• Guilt ATM
• Load Dropper
• Punishment Vault
• Blame Ambassador
• Guilt Ticket
• Outsourcing King
• Escape Velocity Master