optimism

Description

Optimism is the art of mistaking a minefield for a ballroom dance, bravely stepping where reason would trip you. Its boldness often comes packaged with an explosion at the end. It treats baseless confidence as a cloak of nobility, concealing one’s own folly. Always reaching for a mirage of hope, it conveniently forgets the hardness of the abyss below.

Definitions

• A mental time machine that postpones problems at light speed and greets you with regret and an explosion when you glance back.
• An alchemy that digs baseless confidence from the junk and trades it for a one-way ticket to ruin.
• A trick that wraps uncertainty in rainbow paper and delays the unwrapping of reality’s gift.
• A mad entertainment that calls the inevitable failure a surprise party and expects applause.
• The heart of a preschooler who swells with hope for tomorrow and looks down on today’s troubles as if they were a mortal enemy.
• A gardener’s play that uproots weeds of worry and decorates an imaginary garden with silken flowers.
• A nightmare of an architect who paints one crumbling pillar blue and convinces himself the whole house is safe.
• An instinct that misreads a red light as green and only tastes regret after stepping onto the road.
• A bit of dark humor that previews a failed future and only informs the least perceptive friend.
• A criminally social art that omits the worst-case scenario from the invitation and delivers surprises to the victims.

Examples

• “It’ll be fine, it’ll work out!” laughed the woman in the burning room.
• “Deadline? I always believe in miracles,” said the engineer as his coffee went cold.
• “Tomorrow’s presentation will kill!” he grinned as he saved his unfinished slides.
• “Failure makes life interesting,” proclaimed the boss holding the busted budget report.
• “Aliens will have our back,” said the nerd staring at the stars.
• “If this medicine doesn’t work, there’s always the next one,” the patient shrugged.
• “Lease troubles? We’ll figure it out later,” said the student receiving the keys.
• “Skip the hospital; I’ll be better by tomorrow,” mumbled the feverish patient.
• “Flight canceled? Must be an angel’s whim,” joked the stranded tourist.
• “Forgot LoL password? No worries,” said the youth dropping his phone again.
• “Stock crash? V-shaped recovery is coming,” muttered the investor ignoring the screen.
• “Relationships will sort themselves,” said the woman ignoring her unread messages.
• “Results? I haven’t read the rejection email, so I’m fine,” boasted the student.
• “Flat tire? A walk is good exercise!” cheered the cyclist.
• “Rain? There’ll be a rainbow tomorrow,” smiled the lovers soaking wet.
• “Project on fire? Once the foundation is solid, it’s all good,” said the manager.
• “Human extinction? Someone will save us,” said the cult follower clutching apocalypse pamphlet.
• “Thunder is just applause practice,” said the child smiling at the storm.
• “Meeting running long? Deep breaths will end it,” said the director ignoring his watch.
• “A smile connects to Wi-Fi,” said the office worker hugging the power cord.

Narratives

• That morning he looked at the scattered papers and whispered, It’ll be fine.
• A week before the deadline, his boast of having time evaporated in a hail of red pen marks.
• A faint smile on her face, even as the chimney behind her spewed flames.
• The speaker assured, Even failure has its charm, then faced a blank PowerPoint.
• The investor stared at the chart believing a V-shaped comeback and held his phone all night.
• Eyeing the scale in his peripheral vision, he devoured cake, vowing to diet tomorrow.
• Despite the rain warning, she left without an umbrella, laughing in the drizzle.
• Ignoring debt notices, he muttered, Money just circulates, then discovered his empty wallet.
• The warehouse ceiling crumbling above, the technician insisted, I’ll fix it on the next break.
• His schedule read only the word Plenty, even though hours left were nearly zero.
• Entrusting hope to space exploration, she heard the distant boom of a fuel tank.
• Folding laundry outside despite the typhoon report, he believed the wind would dry everything.
• Before the interview results, the youth threw his phone, certain he’d passed.
• Flickering emergency lights in the tunnel failed to rattle the smiling driver.
• In the waiting room, she clung to rumors of a 100% surgery success rate.
• On deadline day, his PC froze like a creature, and he sighed, That’s just its mood.
• Without her allergy mask, she sneezed, calling it a spring blessing.
• Tipsy, he declared, I’ll quit tomorrow, and woke surrounded by regrets and a diary.
• As the earthquake alarm beeped, he smiled under the desk and said, It’s fine.
• Handing in a blank test paper, he claimed, Blank space is avant-garde art.

Related Terms

Aliases

• Minefield Dancer
• Glasses of Hope
• Postponer-in-Chief
• Positive Landmine
• Zero-Basis Architect
• Rainbow Painter
• Firestarter
• Smiling Mask
• Lord of Sandcastles
• Defeat Guide
• Surprise Crafter
• Unfinished Enthusiast
• Time Traveler
• Miracle Substitute
• High-Heat Generator
• Reality Escape Machine
• Future Con-Artist
• Miracle Contractor
• Confidence Consumer
• Defeatless Hero

Synonyms

• Hope Hallucination Drug
• Thought Stopper
• Illusion Sleight-of-Hand
• Dawn Scam
• Confidence Bomb
• Future Guarantee Certificate
• Reality Bypass Device
• Heart Healing
• Thin Ice Walker
• Cap Juggler Illusion
• Morning Mist Art
• Feast of Fools
• Rain Dance
• Flame Beckoner
• Cry Suppressant
• Room-Not-Reading Guy
• Dawn’s Promise
• Self-Suggestion Box
• Charge Prayer
• Last Chance Scam